TODAY'S HISTORY LESSON
In fourteen hundred and ninety-three
Columbus sailed across the sea
Bringing gold to Europe’s shores
With pustules red and oozing sores
One ship aground on lands anew
He kidnapped natives for his crew
But many died once in their quarters
Out in those Atlantic waters
“Something’s up,” Columbus wailed
But no-one cared and on he sailed
Through wind and rain and force ten storms
To Spanish shores and welcomes warm
On March the 4th, he noticed land
But disappointment was at hand
For it was Portugal, not Spain
And he never used sat nav again
Despite their niggling temptations
To colonize more island nations
The Spanish crew thought Chris was barmy,
Said “Ta-ra” and joined an army
They served the King of France with glee
As troops for hire in Napoli
Where many nights they went to bed
And syphilis they helped to spread
Millions became infected
Until Penicillin was invented
Though if Fleming had got his breakthrough wrong
Hitler wouldn’t have lived so long