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since: 3 Jun 2004

March 2007



DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

Thursday, 29 March 2007 5:20 P GMT+01
I love this.  Go see Sara Jo for more o' the same.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Wednesday, 28 March 2007 12:48 A GMT+01
Iggy.Droopy.

LUTON TOWN'S NEW MANAGEMENT TEAM FINALLY UNVEILED

Tuesday, 27 March 2007 4:03 P GMT+01
After last week’s sacking of manager “Mad” Mike Newell, the board of Luton Town FC has announced his replacements.Newell, famed for his outspoken opinions on female official Amy Raynor (“I am a sexist…she shouldn't

TESCO - A CONVENIENCE STORE OR A CONVENIENT EXCUSE?

Monday, 26 March 2007 9:00 P GMT+01
If you were to read the music press this morning, you’d have thought that the British record industry had ceased to be overnight, for many were citing the Top Ten of yesterday’s album chart as something akin to music’s Domesday.Sure
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EU. HERE'S £25m. DON'T SPEND IT ALL AT ONCE.

Sunday, 25 March 2007 11:11 A GMT+01
Today is the 50th anniversary of the Treaty of Rome, and thus the European Union has reached its half-century.Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about its effect on the UK, past, present and future, and I’ve received several e-mails fro

FURTHER PROOF - AS IF IT WERE NEEDED - THAT BRITISH SCIENCE HAS REACHED AN ALL-TIME LOW

Saturday, 24 March 2007 1:39 A GMT+01
A study by a panel of experts led by Professor David Nutt from the University of Bristol and Professor Colin Blakemore, chief executive of the Medical Research Council, has suggested that the current drug classification system, which considers cocain

YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT SOME MOUNTAINS HERE. OTHERWISE, WHAT ARE THE CHARACTERS GOING TO FALL OFF OF?

Friday, 23 March 2007 9:43 P GMT+01
I note with great interest that The Prince of Wales slummed it in first class on a scheduled South West Trains service from London Waterloo to Woking in today’s morning rush, no doubt ready to vouch for all the slobbish paparazzi travelling wit

MR & MRS IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE

Wednesday, 21 March 2007 3:15 A GMT+01
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER: And now on Border, it’s coming up to 5:15 - time for a very special edition of Mr & Mrs with Derek Batey, coming to you live from our studios in Carlisle.  Homes within a 25-mile radius might experience fluctuatio

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT WITH JOSS STONE?

Wednesday, 21 March 2007 1:04 A GMT+01
"Which one of you lucky people behind me wants to write me a song?"  "Me, please!"  "Yes, me too!"  "Not me, thanks, you're not my type..."Apparently, the liner notes of the 19-year-old Devon

ONCE AND FOR ALL...

Tuesday, 20 March 2007 1:53 P GMT+01
To all the teenage record reviewers who can’t be bothered to do their research, music bloggers who are ignorant of anything recorded before 1977, celebrity website hacks who are too busy taking their stories from celebrity magazines to write an

HOW DOES SIMON COWELL SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN HE HAS TO SHARE HIS BED WITH SUCH A MASSIVE EGO? (WITH APOLOGIES TO MAUREEN CLEAVE, JOHN LENNON & JESUS CHRIST)

Monday, 19 March 2007 8:43 A GMT+01
Simon Cowell’s remarks on CBS’s 60 Minutes programme aired coast to coast across America yesterday evening have understandably caused a great deal of controversy overnight.In the show, taped earlier in the week, X Factor and American Idol

WE'LL SING OUR OLD ALMA MATER AND THINK OF THINGS THAT USED TO BE

Sunday, 18 March 2007 7:53 P GMT+01
It’s not often I get misty eyed about Thamesmead.Like many other new towns in the UK, such as Basildon, Milton Keynes and Cumbernauld, it’s a mass of concrete stairwells and walkways adorned with graffiti, punctuated with the occasional t
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THAT WAS ENTERTAINMENT?

Saturday, 17 March 2007 11:42 P GMT+01
Let’s just get this straight: A Song For Europe has been turned into a Pop Idol contest by the BBC, where four known acts are “voted off” by the “general public” in a “phone vote” to leave two relative unknow

MAKING YOUR MIND UP (IF YOU'RE STILL AWAKE)

Saturday, 17 March 2007 9:51 P GMT+01
For once, we’re the last competing nation to select our song for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.  We’ve just been, er, treated to all six of them on BBC1, and the votes of the Dogs Must Be Carried jury are as follows:Liz M

ORIGINAL MATERIAL COMING SOON. HONEST.

Friday, 16 March 2007 3:12 P GMT+01
OK, OK, I know, I know…it’s just been one of those weeks when I’ve had to rely upon other people’s contributions to this blog, but it’ll pass soon.  The several very good reasons for this state of affairs have been

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVID NOBBS

Tuesday, 13 March 2007 9:36 A GMT+01
He wrote this.

EAST ANGLIA THE HARD WAY

Saturday, 10 March 2007 12:19 A GMT+01
Continuing the theme of sacrificing my own humourous scribblings for the broadening of my readership's comedic tastes, please accept this short but brilliant sketch from Andrew Marshall and David

GONE TO SEE A MAN ABOUT A STUDIO

Friday, 9 March 2007 9:07 A GMT+01
So console yourself with this edition of O! News, made by Look Around You's Peter Serafinowicz.  I had intended to link to this some months ago but it disappeared from You Tube for a whi

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

Thursday, 8 March 2007 9:05 A GMT+01
This just in from Ticketshafter:More tickets have become available for the dazzling new production of The Sound of Music at the London Palladium.Based upon a true story and - most importantly for West

TODAY'S PROGRAMMES ON ITV1

Tuesday, 6 March 2007 7:40 P GMT+01
09.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show Wife, Why Have You Spent All Our Benefits on Phone Calls to ITVPlay - Even When You Know it’s a Rip-off? Jeremy Kyle invites more inbreds from East Anglia to shout at each other in front of 200 students from Manches

DON'T THREATEN ME WITH A DEAD FISH

Monday, 5 March 2007 9:54 P GMT+01
Just got back from a visit to the folks, complete with the requisite youths-listening-to-hardcore-grime-and-smoking-skunk-because-it's-hard-and-whatyagonnadoabahtit experience on the way back. So, in lieu of anything funny of my own making, here's a

ROUGHLY TRANSLATED: IT'S QUITE REMINISCENT OF A CRISP ACTUALLY

Sunday, 4 March 2007 6:58 P GMT+01
I haven't embedded any video in this page before, so I hope this will play for the majority of my readers.  You'll probably need a fairly decent broadband connection and the latest version of Flash. You all know that I'm an arbiter of extraordi

SOMETHING TELLS ME CBT ISN'T GOING TO WORK

Saturday, 3 March 2007 1:41 A GMT+01
Hello, everybody - Sir Helios Nudjnudji-Wink here. You know, sometimes people come up to me in the street and say, “Helios, you’re such a happy chap, what with all your easyVentures being successful and making lots of money.” And
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IT'S "WE DON'T NEED ANY EDUCATION" OR "EDUCATION ISN'T NECESSARY", YOU STUPID BOY

Thursday, 1 March 2007 5:48 P GMT+01
When examination bodies can't even be bothered to check their employees' grasp of grammar, can kids be blamed for treating their tests with the contempt they deserve?